Friday, March 30, 2012
You're right. Maybe I'm too not confident in myself. Maybe I control you until too tight. But have you ever thought, why would this happen? How did you treat me in the first place? It's only my mind and my heart reacting to it. Everytime you would say ''lets break up lah'' or ''break contact lah'' , and every time i would be the one chasing after you.
You would continue giving me sarcastic remarks and replies, saying that its none of my business, that i need not care. But I would always continue to chase after you for your forgiveness. You keep pushing me away no matter what, until you are happy then you'd finally forgive me. Honestly I don't know what else to do. Should I kneel down and beg for your forgiveness before you'll forgive me?
The book '' Mars and Venus on a Date'' says that as a woman, I should be happily receiving until we are in the intimacy stage where I can start to give. Maybe I'm taking this all wrong. I should only be sharing my troubles with you in the intimacy stage so that your impression of me would be good. (by the way the intimacy here doesn't mean physically, it means emotionally, mentally and spiritually)
I want to ask for help so badly, but I don't know where to get help. People can give advices but they won't know what is exactly happening in our relationship. I want so badly to salvage this relationship and change for the better but are you willing to do the same?
The more you push me away, the more tired I get. Don't blame me if one fine day, I decide not to care anymore.
8:47:00 PM
Cheryl