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Cheryl
17June1995
Singapore Polytechnic
Dip in Visual Communication & Media Design
Gemini
lyrehcx@hotmail.com
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Yes, I am irritating. I am lame. I am troublesome. I make your life worse. I ruin your day. I love you too much. I am fat. I am stupid. I make you fucked up all the time. I don't know how to think. I feel insecure. I am imperfect. Do you still want me?

Sometimes I really wonder if you love me as much as I love you. You can say that you love me, you miss me and things like that, but the next minute you can tell me things like you can always go back to your ex, you're keeping things from me. What am I supposed to believe in?

After I got together with you, for the past few months, all that is on my mind is you, you, and you. I don't sit there and think about my ex or anything like that. What about you?

If you claim that you love me, why do you even want to hurt/revenge on me? Have you ever thought about that?

I'd rather you show me your true colors than put on a mask all the time. All I request for is for you to be true to me, is that difficult?

You are the first one I brought home to let my parents see. Also the first one I put "in a relationship with" on Facebook. The first one i am so comfortable and natural with that I let you see me at my worst - in my pyjamas in bed, teeth unbrushed. I bet you don't know all these. Whenever you say that "I'm keeping something from you that I'll never tell you" or "I dreamt about my ex" or "fuck off lah Chee bai" and stuffs like that, it hurts me really deeply.

You may not know, but my feelings for you are really deep. I don't mind giving up outings for you, I don't mind getting scolded for you. I don't mind waking up early to find you. I don't mind going to find you after a long day at work. I don't mind if you scold me, as long as you are happy.

I really love you, Raymond Ling Wen Wei. I hope you'll know that.

I don't mind if it has a hole, I don't even mind if you don't give me anything. All I ask for is for you to happily spend the day with me. You bought so many things for me, I'm already very contented.

I can easily sew it up, you didn't waste your money. The way you say it it's as if you just told me that you wasted your money buying a gift for me. The way you say it it's like I just once again ruined another special occasion for you. It makes me feel really sad. I didn't do anything to deserve you talking to me in that manner, did I? I know you are in a bad mood as you accidetally threw away the receipt, but did you have to scream at me? I am not here for you to scream at. When I cry it's because I feel really bad. Haiy. I honestly don't know what else I can do.. I feel so fucking useless now.

Being called "fucking lame" just because I changed my name in your phone to "Babygirl<3".

Being told that when you talk to me, I make you pissed and ruin your whole day.

Think, how would you feel if you were me. I didn't even do anything to you and yet I was told so many hurting things.

As my boyfriend, you still can say "so? My problem?" .
Do you still care?

Why must I be such a failure....... I made you angry like a million times today...

I'm such a horrible girlfriend.. It's a wonder you still want me at all..

What should I do to be a better girlfriend that never make you angry.. ):

I'm sorry I made you angry again and again....

Things has been very weird nowadays. The way you text me, the way you treat me. I can't help but feel that sense of insecurity around me, like I'm going to lose you anytime soon. Although you gave me reassurance saying that nothing has changed and you still love me like you did before, I can feel that things aren't so simple. Maybe i'm thinking too much, but maybe I'm right, there is something wrong.

You used to sound extremely happy and cheeky when you're texting me. You used to take all the risks just to call me with your office phone to chat with me. We used to not be able to fall asleep without talking on the phone for at least a while before bed. Now? We haven't been talking on the phone for quite a few nights already. We havent met for like five-freaking-days. It's torture to me, not being able to see you and touch you. ( not in the sick way people!), but is it this way for you too?

I miss you, i miss the old you, especially when you were wooing me. You were so fun and nice then. Now? I don't know. You seem overly stressed out over things. I don't like what's happening. Maybe it's because we haven't met for so long that this feeling of insecurity surfaced. I hope that's what happened and nothing else, i won't be able to take it if it was because of some other reasons. I want to meet you so badly, do you feel the same?