Friday, January 27, 2012
Maybe I shouldn't try hard to express how much I need you and love you. It'll probably annoy you in the end. Do you honestly really love me? I think my love and desire for you is much greater.
11:19:00 PM
Thursday, January 26, 2012
I know I haven't been a very good girlfriend. Always creating trouble for you, I might even be a burden to you.
Maybe your parents is right. I may be meeting you way too much, causing you to overtire yourself. If that's how they feel, I respect their opinion.
I just wish that you would tell me everything. I want to know what's bothering you, I want to know if you're feeling troubled or sad. I want to be there for you. Even though I know I can't really do much, at least I am here to share some of the burden or stress. I am your girlfriend, I want to be there for you. You are always there when I need you, but you don't open up to me. I wish that day will come, the day where you feel comfortable enough to share everything with me. I love you too much to be able to allow you to suffer alone.
11:07:00 PM
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Crying while typing this...
It's the n-th time I'm crying for you..
You've said nasty things, you've been mean. You've ignored me, and even asked for breakups. I know I did many wrongs, but is your feelings for me not strong enough to allow you to forgive me?
Many ask why do I still bother, while others say I can find others and deserve better. But I told them, I still love you.
I asked myself, why do I still bother after so many things have happened, it boils down to one thing - I need you.
Even your sister can see that I only have eyes for you, why can't you just have more confidence in yourself? You have to not only trust me, but also yourself that I am true to you. I have never told my parents about my relationships.. Until I found you. Excitedly told my mom about you, excitedly introducing my parents to you. Tried my best to create a better impression on your family members, for what? Just because I'm serious about you.
I believe that the feelings and the bond we have are strong enough to overcome everything including this. Why can't you just believe so?
It's okay if you're angry at me. It's okay if you hit me or make me cry all the time. All I need is some assurance that you won't leave me. I need you, Raymond Ling.
11:24:00 PM
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Sometimes I really wonder what am I to you. Does any other couple do this? The boyfriend blocking his own girlfriend's handphone and home phone number? It's ridiculous. Now I can't even contact you, I don't know what to do. I don't even know if you're sleeping or awake, don't know if you're currently safe.. I'm so scared that something will happen to you. Can you please stop making me worried like this? I'm your girlfriend, I do hope that you'll tell me about things that are bothering you.. I know I probably can't do much to help, but at least you are able to get things off your chest and not keep it bottled up inside. I don't know if you'll be reading this, I guess you won't, but this post consists of another of my heartfelt words, just like all my other blog posts.
I hope you'll text me, or give me a call ASAP.
10:23:00 AM
Sunday, January 01, 2012
The first day of the new year is ending soon...
Spent the day with my babyboy and my sis, and we spent it shopping(:
Was happy enough today.. I guess..
I can't believe I spent the start of today and the end of today quarreling with babyboy again...
I know, I did wrong by talking to my family while on the phone with you, but why can't you understand that I need time with my family too? You do that sometimes too, talking to your family while you're on the phone with me, but did I complain? I know, we don't really have any topic to talk about these days, but that's because we haven't thought about it or haven't went through enough things to tell each other enough. It may seem like we don't have anything to talk about right now, but I believe that we will have more topics in the future.
Sometimes, I just wish that you'll be more optimistic about things and just look at the bright side. I mean, it's good to think of any bad consequences and be safe rather than sorry, but you can't be so pessimistic about things and just think of the bad things that'll happen to every situation. It'll make life very.. I don't know how to say.
Maybe this time round, it's really my fault for having nothing much to say, my life has been like really boring staying at home all day long. There's no morning shift and you don't really agree to me working night shift nor get another job so I don't know what I can do. sometimes I just wish that you'll open up to me more and tell me about how you think about things. I really hope to make you a more positive person.
I guess I'll go off to bed now. Shopping makes me tired, so imma sleep now. :/ nights! (I doubt anyone is actually reading this.)
11:55:00 PM
Cheryl