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Cheryl
17June1995
Singapore Polytechnic
Dip in Visual Communication & Media Design
Gemini
lyrehcx@hotmail.com
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I wanna be that girl you'd be proud to introduce to all your friends and families.
I wanna be that girl you'd be proud to hold hands with when at the mall or outside.
I wanna be that girl whom you'd care for with all your heart.
I wanna be that girl that's always on your mind.
I wanna be that girl occupying your heart.
I wanna be yours, and only yours.

I'm sorry if..
I'm too gullible,
I'm too loud,
I'm too noisy,
I'm too irritating,
I'm too imperfect,
Or if..
I'm not pretty enough,
I'm not understanding enough,
I'm not wise enough,
I'm not caring enough,
I'm not gentle enough,
I'm not slim enough,
I'm not popular enough,
I'm not honest enough,
I'm not trying hard enough,
I'm just not perfect enough for you.

I don't know how else and what else I can do to make you love me more, all I know is to love you with all my heart.

我好希望，你在对我没有感情了时，会告诉我。我希望你不要隐瞒我，那样我会更痛苦的。

我要告诉自己，我不能哭。不能每次觉得伤心觉得难过就流泪。我要坚强一点，我一定能打动你的。

Sometimes I really don't know if I should trust anyone anymore. I'm really scared that you'd find another girl or something. You keep telling me that you thought of finding another girl, you thought of two-timing me and stuffs..

Maybe you think that, telling me about your past is necessary.. Yeah I understand.. But I don't like it when you take them out to talk about it, when you start to compare.

Why is it that you can't believe that we can last? I myself believe so, I believe we can last. I know I have not been a very good girlfriend to you, I have been hurting you a lot, I have been a horrible girlfriend.

It hurts me a lot when you remember every little thing, every little detail about all your ex.. When I'm here trying to forget everything about my ex.. Trying my best to give in to you as much as possible..

I know, I am not a good girlfriend, I don't treat you as well as much as your ex.. But you have to believe that my feelings for you are true.. You have to remember about the times where we are happy together..

I am really scared of losing you.. I don't want to lose you.. Everyone around me tells me that I deserve better, but I told them, that I love you. I won't be able to let go of you just like that.

I know you've lost your trust in me, and I'm here trying to gain it back.. I know you are trying to guide me along, I know you meant well for me.. And I sincerely thank you for that..

I hope that you'll try too, on your part, to try to trust me again. I know it is difficult and it will take time, but I am willing to wait. Just because I love you.

Been long since I blogged.. I wonder who actually comes to read my blog.. O.O


Had an ultra huge fight with baby last night.. I slept late because my desktop is finally fixed and I was quite excited about it and ended up surfing facebook and didn't keep check of the time. Messaged baby when i was about to sleep but got a call a while later because he felt weird. Questioned me about who did i talk to on facebook.. I was stupid, but to avoid misunderstanding, I told him that i only talked to pf.. After asking a few times I told him everything, and he was really angry.. Maybe, sometimes, I should really don't worry so much about it and tell him everything.. 


I almost lost him, was really afraid of losing him. Reflected this morning on what happened.. thought about a lot of things.. thought about every of my past relationships and reflected.. I felt so guilty after that.. He really treats me very well.. He's forever so caring and sweet.. while I'm forever a bitch, hurting him again and again.. I shouldn't keep anything from him anymore.. I promised to myself that I will change, for him, just because I love him.


He cares a lot for me, I know and I can feel it. I care for him too. Sometimes I wonder why my care for him is always rejected. As his girlfriend, is it a sin to care for him like that? It hurts when my care is rejected, it hurts when he doesn't tell my things that are happening to him. He wasn't feeling well yesterday, he not only did not tell me, he even rejected my umbrella and walked in the rain.. the silly boy.. <3 I really really wished he would give me a chance to let me care for him.. I don't know how else I can show him that I honestly really love him.. He's really different from others.. Haiy..

I made him angry again... I should change my bad habit of exaggerating when I talk... I really don't understand you.. I don't know what you like, don't know what you dislike.. I honestly don't know what to do anymore...

Feeling so happy nowadays (: my baby Raymond has been becoming more and more patient and understanding nowadays ^^~ I really hope we'll last very very extremely long hehe..

But anyway, babyboy came to my house today! <3 We chatted awhile in my living room before deciding to leave for lunch (: had lunch at Mac ^^ been long since I had fast food lol.. Anyway, we then took a bus and went to east coast park. Sat there and chatted about many stuffs before I accidentally hit his specs ): I'm sorry babyboy <3 anyway went to make his specs then went to kallang airport (old airport) to have our dinner (: we talked about many stuffs, including finance stuffs..

Been spending a lot of his money nowadays.. Really feel very bad ): gonna help him save money.. (:

Really glad that today went wonderful and I hope that every day would be as awesome as today.. I mean, I went well without quarrels and stuffs like that.. I really hope this awesome relationship between us will last.. I love you my babyboy <3

Why does this kind of thing have to happen to our first month anniversary....

Happy 1st month anniversary honey baby! :D we've been through a lot together this past one month... I've probably made you pissed, angry, hurt or sad countless of times in this month.. But you were always so nice to forgive me.. Thank you baby.. Thanks a lot... This morning, I made you angry again. You thought I didn't care about you but that's totally not the case. I was sent to the 4th floor and it has no toilet for me to run into to text you, neither does it have a corner for me to text you. I was forever on standby and I kept checking my phone now and then. I felt so horrible when I couldn't reply your messages or hear your voice. I missed you so much this morning. I took the chance to check my phone whenever I needed to push stuffs to the first floor, I'm sorry if the timing I check wasn't the correct timing when you needed me urgently. Okay, it's getting very long-winded. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that no matter how busy I am, no matter how much I appear not to care, deep down in my heart I really honestly love you very much. I hope that we'll have many more monthsaries or anniversaries to come (: 1609 hours, the exact time which you asked me to be your girlfriend and I accepted you. I'll always and forever remember that moment. I love you. (:

You are really special to me.. Thanks for your really sweet message to me:
" Baby, finally is our 1st month le <3 anyway, alot of things happen through this whole 1 month which we have been through .. But always remember that nO matter how hard the journey is going to be . No matter how hard the path is going to be we going to hold our both hand tightly and never ever let go ! Although alot of things happen which may give us think of giving up . But afterall , we never giving up on each other (: it's because our relationship is always strong and sweet ! Baby, i can tell you that you'll always be my one and only <3 i swear and i meant it baby ! I won't get snatch by other girls (: because my heart had already craved with your lovely and short name ! <3 baby, nobody can snatch of away because i'm always yours ! (: 061111 16.09pm the day we promise to not to let go each other nO matter what happen (: because we will always be there for each other and always holding each other hand tightly and never let go ! <3 iloveyou cheryl fong baby ! Woaini ! Iloveyou!"

I promise I'll try to be a better girlfriend in the future(: thanks for the wonderful day at my house ^^~ love you loads <3

Went out with him today! Was kinda enjoyable heh. Took a bus to changi airport and we went to eat before going to the viewing gallery to slack.(:

We chat about tons of stuffs... Watched videos with him and talked and laughed together with him.. Wished it could be like that everyday...

After that, he sent me to my granny's house before heading back home.

Now, I'm home. But he's pissed off with me thanks to this friend of mine. I shouldn't even mention him in the first place. I was about to celebrate that he wasn't invited to the chalet.. But... Nevermind... He became pissed because I talked about him. Then he kept asking about him which got me irritated. The tone he had was like as if he suspects I have something on with him, which is obviously not the case! I don't know lah.... Fuck this world.. I can't even have a wonderful day without quarreling with him. Sometimes I wonder is there something wrong with me, always making him pissed, angry, hurt, sad. I never make him smile... I feel like such a failure.. I'm a horrible girlfriend I swear...

Calling me CCB, fuck here fuck there, you think it doesn't hurt? I didn't do it on purpose right. You won't even listen to my explanation!

You were in a rush, keep wanting to go here and there, my timing isn't even confirmed yet. You want me to go accompany you, you never tell me, then you come and scold me non stop.

If you feel that accompanying you is more important than my leg, so be it. I can always cut it off. You have no idea how much my leg is killing me.

Ahh.. Finally safely in bed.. :D
Yesterday was the first day of work.. Was dam tiring but quite fun at the same time ^^~ being an ultra awesome and sweet boyfriend, he came to esplanade station at the circle line to pick me up from work >< baby I'm sorry I kinda made you very pissed cause I was delayed by stupid things. >
Anyway, this morning woke up with muscle aches all over my body omg. My shoulders hurts even when I shrug lightly or move it a bit.. Nevertheless, I sprayed something on the affected areas and off I went to work!

Got a fiercer manager today. Anyway did lots of stupid stuffs from 10am to about 1pm. Then finally guests started coming in.. -.-" they're so troublesome can! One asked for Pepsi, I went in ad served him, then another asked for the same, I served, then the third one asked -.-" retarded people. ._. Finally got off work at 3pm! :D went to have tea break at the canteen hahah. >
Anyway that kinda ends my post... It's raining now, awesome weather to sleep in hehehe >< nights humans!