it's never too late to apologize. start with a sorry,

Monday, March 05, 2012

Is this how a relationship should be like? One controlling the other? It makes me feel really suffocated , I can't even breathe.

I don't know which side of you to trust anymore, I really don't. Just last night we promised to never leave each other. Just last night you told me you thought about it and you feel that the next time we quarrel, we should never fight or shout at each other, and that we should sit down and talk about it. You said that you won't leave me, that I'm your one and only baby, your best girlfriend. But in the blink of an eye, you said that you can easily go to other girls. Which can I really trust?

Benjamin and me are just like real siblings, we can never feel for each other in that way, we can never get together. But you, on the other hand, keep thinking in a weird way which I will never understand. You are like two different people when you're angry and when you're not. Which is the real you?

You can easily say things which are really hurtful when you're enraged, but when you're calmed down, you can actually think logically and tell me real solutions other than fighting or violence. All I need is for you to calm down before trying to solve this whole problem.

I'm lost, I really don't know what to do anymore. How can I ensure that you won't lose your temper so easily? I know one way is probably for you to lose weight so that you can feel more confident in yourself. I don't know any other ways to boost your confidence level so that you will not be so afraid to lose me.

We have gone so much to be together, we broke contact for two years and finally met at friend's chalet. You and I were both attached then. After that, you said that I lied to you because I didn't tell you that I was attached at that time. I finally broke up with my boyfriend, and you had to wait for my O'levels to finish. After we got together, because of trust issues, we fought often. I finally got the courage to stand up for myself after a few months, and you drastically improved. Until recently, you lost patience, confidence, and gained back your temper.

Sometimes I wonder after having gone through all these, why can you still say 'break up' as easy as '123'? Don't you feel the pain and the hurt when you say it? Its hurting, very very hurting. Oh well, I guess I could live with it, as long as I don't let go, I won't lose you, hopefully. (:

" To love someone, you have to lose someone. " I guess this quote applies to this situation, in order for me to be able to continue loving you, I have to lose a brother.

2:25:00 PM